"Keezees"-styled charicatures.

Other Comics by Kev The Rev

A couple of comics what I drew for the lolz. The first one's a one-pager; For the record, I wasn't a teenage lawn-mower.

This 4-pager comic involves me piloting a Spitfire during the Battle of Britain to protect Glasgow from Bio-engineered Nazi Wasps. I can't remember where the idea came from...

And finally, here's a couple of sketches, two of me, one of an elephant that thinks it's a hamster. Don't ask.

"Keezees" Live at "Draw or Die" contest!

On the 29th of September, 2007, having wandered around Glasgow on a pleasant afternoon with my good friend Claire, my attention was drawn to an ad in a window of a games shop, proclaiming that a "Draw or Die" contest (of which I had never heard of) was about to take place in an hour's time, in a gallery called "Lowsalt" just down from the Glasgow School of Art. Curious, Claire and I headed along.

We were met by the sight of a converted (if that's the right word) garage, wherein cans of Tennents Lager were being sold for a pound, and a Pictionary-esque competition was about to take place. I proceeded to get drunk, and entered my name into the hat; the name being "Big Kev".

I decided to draw all my attempts in the style of "Keezees". :D

What followed was a mish-mash of against-the-clock-doodling on over-head projectors, drinking, egging on, booing, more drinking, me clapping for my opponents (the winner was judged on audince reaction, so I was repeatedly told not to clap for my opponent), star-spotting (Duncan Robertson from "Dananananaykroyd" was in attendance), a bit more drinking and of course there was the ever-present sight of me coming second in a competition, having made it through 3 heats to the Final.

The themes given to me to illustrate included (the mind goes a bit fuzzy here);

"Jeans, Shirts and Social Shirks", for which I illustrated a wee guy trying to get into the "Sub Club" (Pandering to my audience? Moi?), but getting knocked back by a bouncer.

"Seagulls over Dover", for which I illustrated "Keezees" very own Nick Grymtrove being attacked by seagulls near the famous white cliffs (one seagull, "Magoo", beckoned to his comrades, "Get 'im, lads!").

"A Fireman rescuing a cat", which was illustrated by a 2 point perspective of a tower on fire, with a cat, swiping at it's would-be rescuer.

And finally, "Gold-digger"...on which I froze. I couldn't think of anything. I tried to think of Anna-Nicole Smith, but I couldn't remember her name; which is fortunate, seeing as she had just (unknownst to be) died, and it probably wouldn't have gone down so well. So I drew Kid Rock marrying Pamela Anderson. I lost. I was beaten by a Japanese guy called, I shit you not, Hiro.

I'd also like to point out that there was a raffle for some t-shirts. I had a ticket, but realised that if I did win the raffle, held mid-way through the contest, then people would be less likely to vote for me in the drawing contest. So I gave my raffle ticket to Claire, in case I did win...and lo and behold, I did. Well...Claire did. With my ticket. And I won nothing.

The night was finished in the Cathouse; apart from not winning anything, it was a good day.

A month or two later, I discovered photos on the internet of the event...Claire is visible in most of the audience shots (have fun trying to spot her!), and I am in a few contestant shots...as well as "Keezees" first public appearance! (Discounting the interweb, of course).

Click on the squares below for photgraphic evidence of said event. :)

Halloween, 2008, Classic Grand...ZOMBIE PACMAN IS HUNGRY...

I had fun making this thing. A lot of fun. Maybe too much fun...

The original plan was to dress up as "Pyramid Head" from "Silent Hill 2" for Halloween(2008), but I changed my mind to Pacman. Can't remember why. I dreamt of a costume, and looked it up online (because someone had to have created a Pacman costume in the last 30 years that he/it has been around), and noticed that of all the Pacman costumes posted online, no one has ever had the creative notion of making a mouth that opens and shuts. Until now. So Pacman it was; but I have always thought a Halloween costume has to be scary, and if you can't make it scary, then at least make it creepy. But how do you make Pacman scary? Make him a zombie, of course. All in all, I think I spent about £7.50 on the whole costume. Notes for all would-be Pacmen and women;

Use 2-Ply Cardboard, normal cardboard is too flimsy.

Cover it in a couple of layers of paper-mache. It's messy, but important.

Put the poster paint on really thick, and then apply some spray varnish (if you put a thin coat of paint on, the varnish will thin the paint even more and the paper-mache/newspaper below will show). And use Gloss varnish, it brings out the blood and brains lovely.

Poster paint doesn't apply at all to sello/duct tape, it just dries and flakes off, so make sure it's completely paper-mache'd.

Some mid-creation photos are viewable below...

The night itself was as memorable as my costume was cumbersome. I didn't catch sight of the guy that I bashed into the pee-wall whilst reversing out of a toilet cubicle...I have to pity the poor fools who didn't realise what my costume was. What sheltered lives they must lead. Yes, that's right, I'm a big ball of talking cheese...idiots. At first I thought it was an age thing, especially after a seven year old asked who I was, and after explaining that I was Pacman, he asked me who Pacman was...but no, random punters my own age were clueless. The best/worst response? Waiting in a bank machine queue in Central Station, I heard (I couldn't see him) a ned shout, "That costume was a waste of fucking time!", and then, obviously intent on ruining my costume, punched it. I looked around to see who had attacked me, to see a ned walking away, shaking his hand in pain. He got what he deserved. 2-ply cardboard, mofo!

Other memories from that night; Claire, Julie, the other Julie and her pal "Bolt" were dressed as, respectively, a bumblebee, a butterfly, a dapper and a member of the Spetznaz...I had rather a lot of photos of me taken "eating" people...I drank a few "Zombie" cocktails (God knows what was in them)...and then, whilst trying to buy a pint, I was dragged by Pete (one of the P.R. staff) into a back office. I thought I was getting kicked out, but I was put in a room backstage with other costume contest contenders. I recognised Leeloo from the Fifth Element, and a evil/sexy nurse from "Silent Hill 2"...and that's it. I forget what the other two were. Aparently the P.R. staff for the club picked the contenders, so I have to thank them. We sat around chatting for 5 minutes, whilst unbeknownst to me, Claire and the Julies were looking all over the place for me. I was eventually directed onstage, the music stopped and then it gets a bit blurry. It was anounced that the contest would be decided by audience cheering, and my heart sank. I couldn't hear much in that thing, but I could hear the two unmemorable costumes getting a few boos, the Silent Hill Nurse getting one or two (undeserved) boos but more cheers, and Leeloo getting nothing but cheers; at that point I thought too myself, "Ach, at least I've won free entry to the club for a month or something for getting onstage"; but when DJ Barry shouted out, "let's hear it for ZOMBIE PACMAN!", the place went fucking apeshit. My jaw hit the fucking floor. (I think the working mouth might have won it for me).

It went to a tie, between Leeloo and myself. The audience was asked to cheer again; Leeloo (who I have to commend on her brave choice of attire) got nothing but cheers, but the place erupted around me when my name was anounced; I remember going to the front of the stage and "munching" a member of the crowd. And that was it. I won first prize. And I never win anything! The next thing I remember, I've walked off stage to meet the two Julies (I think Claire was looking for me outside thinking I had been chucked out), and Jools was screaming her lungs out. I think she was screaming for the two of us to be honest, I resorted to jumping up and down on the spot, still unsure about what just took place. I don't remember much after that. I believe we left early, and I had to take my costume off while waiting for the taxi outside, as it was attracting the attention of the unwashed (and possibly armed) hordes. And then the next thing I know, I'm home, drunkenly trying to explain to my dad what had transpired that night.

Any unrecalled memories are more than welcome; in the mean time, click on the squares below to embrace my memories.

You may be wondering why I'm telling you how my Halloween transpired. Well, if it weren't for said shenanigans, I wouldn't have been able to do the following...







Transylvania and back! Mwoa-ha-ha-hah!

Yup, first prize in the fancy dress contest was a trip for two to Transylvania! I had attempted to learn some handy Romanian phrases like, "I am Scottish", "I would like a bottle of beer, please." and "Don't worry, I'm an artist!", but when Claire and I travelled to Cluj-Napoca deep in the heart of Romania, we discovered that most young people there speak good or fluent English...so we took the lazy option and spoke English most of the time. We were booked into a 5 star hotel called "Deja Vu" which I have described, to anyone who'll listen, as a gingerbread house designed by Gaudi. It was a nice wee place, by the way, and a 5 minute walk from the city centre; a route that was taken regularly to visit a gothic pub I had discovered on the interwebs called Umbra de Noapta (The "Night-Shade").

Which we loved.

They played good music, smoking was allowed inside, the beer was sold in half litre bottles which cost 4 to 5 lei (about a quid each), they sold real 70% proof Absinthe, served the right way, which was tasted...aaand it promptly knocked us on our arses. Literally, in my case, I slipped in the snow on the way back to the hotel. It was also in this pub that we met Gina...who I can honestly say is the nicest person I have ever met in my life. I don't think there's a bad bone in her body; it's reassuring to meet someone that hasn't been tainted by a world that breeds arsehole after arsehole. The three of us kept each other company for most of the weekend. She even took the day off of her work the next day to show us around Cluj; a city, I might add, that she didn't properly know herself, so it became an adventure for the three of us. I'm not ashamed to admit it, but saying our goodbyes was a bit emotional.

There were mishaps; it wouldn't be a holiday if there weren't, but overall, it was a pretty unique and thoroughly enjoyable experience.

Oh, and I am still a very nervous flyer. Claire took the photos out of the plane windows.

Halloween, 2009, Classic Grand..."CURSE OF THE WICKER MAN"

Yet again, I intended to go as something else (a "Big Daddy" from Bioshock), but changed my mind. Dressing as the Wicker Man had long been a dream of mine, but I had no way of knowing how to create it. 3 months I spent on this thing. 3 long unemployed-and-then-suddenly-re-employed-at-the-last-minute months I toiled away on designs that would allow me to bend my limbs and still retain a sense of wicker-ish-ness. I researched armour from around the world, and evetually settled on a design.

It was worth it.

Having spent so long on the damn thing, I began to loathe the sight of it as it slowly came together. Doubt entered my mind, and I questioned wether people would recognise what I was supposed to be. In fact, my faith in it's quality was only sealed when the first non-friend to witness my creation recognised what it was...going into town, I couldn't fit into a taxi, so Claire, Julie and I had to risk taking public transport. Upon entering our chariot, the whole bus erupted in shouting and laughing, "YAY! IT'S THE WICKER MAN!". With a smile across my face, I felt my job was done.

Most people recognised the Wicker Man. A few others believed me to be Mokujin, a wooden character from the Tekken series of games, and a ned thought I was a bonfire; I wanted to mock her for her ignorance, but technically it was true. I was a bonfire.

Other incidents from the night...going to O'Henry's to meet up with Julie and Fraz, becoming entangled in the decorative cobwebs of the Classic Grand (so much so that I required 4 people to rescue me), Claire got into a fight with her boyfriend's ex, and I didn't win the contest, which I wasn't too bothered about, because I was having too good a time.

The only mark against the night occured on the long walk home to Claire's flat..a junkie, remarkably cognescant for his state, saw the Wicker Man approaching him, and tried to set me on fire with a lighter. After politely telling him to fuck off, and then stopping in our tracks while he continued forward, I finished the night unshaken and unharmed.

With Halloween over, I am now depositing the costume in a box in the attic, where it will lie until the Wickerman Festival next year. Until then, please enjoy the following photographs...

On the Buses

When condensation becomes a canvas...random photos of Keezees-related window art.